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From: My Future Self
Subject: Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
Date: 6 July 2008 12:37
Message-ID: 64
Quite some time ago, a fellow b3tard (possibly The Coast Of
Yemen) suggested to make a graph of Google hits by the
number of vowels in the word ‘khan’, but I don’t think it’s
bindun yet.
The term Khan can refer to a lot of things,
according to Wikipedia.
However, once there are more than three a’s in khan, it will
most likely be a reference to Khan Noonien Singh. Khan is a
villain from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, in which
Captain Kirk (William Shatner) yells his name at some point.
In this example, I’m not including Khan or Khaan, because
they may refer to other thing. After Khan or Khaan, Khaaan
has, of course the largest amount of hits. Once you add an
extra ‘a’, the number dramatically decreases to 42.72
percent. Adding more a’s more or less decreases the number
of hits you’ll receive, with an exception for Khaaaaaaaan (8)
and Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (15). Fifteen vowels almost gives you
four times the number of hits, compared to fourteen!
It basically keeps on decreasing when you stretch the word
further and further, but there are some interesting peaks I
cannot explain. Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (26) has 727
hits,whereas Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (25) has a measly
212 hits. Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (27) is hardly better
with 272. The largest increase in hits, however is
Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (33). The difference
between 32 or 33 vowels is 1152 hits, creating an increase of
approximately 505 percent! Another notable increase is between
39 and 40 a’s (424%) and between. I know that the increase
between 47-48 is 554% and 63-64 is even 620%, but it gets less
accurate as the number of hits drops.
The weighted average of a’s in Khan, measured in Google hits
is 8.53, I think. This graph might prove to be very important
to you Internet Users some day. Just imagine how silly you
would look, using 31 A’s, when 33 is clearly the popular choice.
Anything with over fifty consecutive vowels works contraproductive,
is not funny or cool, and should just be considered as spam.
Except for (64), of course, but I have no idea why.
(more...)
From: My Future Self
Subject: Public Animation Mix
Date: 15 June 2008 11:15
Message-ID: 62
I always liked Cyriak’s animation mix and Rob’s ‘Video
killed the radio star’ mix (like millions of others). I
wanted to do something similar with my animations, but
unfortunately I don’t produce enough to fill even a minute.
So I decided to make it a public thing. Everyone can upload
his or her animation(s) as an animated GIF and it’s
immediately added.
I borrowed some of the code from the aforementioned mix by
Rob. If the sound doesn’t play in Firefox, you can try the
Flash version. The Flash version in turn doesn’t work in my
IE browser so that’s why there are two versions. The song is
from a keygen. The credits say: svenzzon of superior art
creations, a quartex 2 remix, original by reflex.
From: My Future Self
Subject: IMDB Film-Length Project
Date: 14 June 2008 12:52
Message-ID: 60
b3ta newsletter 332 calls for an average film-length graph.
This idea sounded exciting to me and because I have nothing
to do anyway in the weekends, I tried to accomplish this
with IMDB, Notepad, Excel, Notepad, Collectorz Movie
Collector and Excel (in that order). Here are the results
and how I did it.
First I went to IMDB to get a list of best voted titles of
every decade from 1910 to 2009. The newsletter says top 100,
but I think the top 50 (500 titles in total) is enough and I
couldn’t find a top 100. Then, I copied the table to
Notepad, imported the txt into Excel and copied the ‘title’
column back to notepad, so I could import it into Collectorz
Movie Collector. Once imported into Movie Collector, it
searches the IMDB info for every movie automatically,
including ‘year’ and ‘film length’. Sometimes it needs a
little push when there are several titles with the same
name, but overall this isn’t nearly as time consuming as
having to do it manually. Once I had done this for every
decade, I had all the data I needed. On to the science
stuff!
I’m not an econometrist, so I hope I’m doing this correctly.
I noticed directly that most old movies are relatively
short. However, there’s also Les Vampires, a French horror
movie from 1915 which is 399 minutes! This is also the
longest film in any of top 50s, followed by Napoleon (1927,
313 mins). Both are French movies.
In Excel, everyone’s favourite spreadsheet, I imported the
numbers again and sorted the ‘Running time’ column to get a
good look. I had to replace all the ‘mins’ with ” because
otherwise Excel doesn’t get it. Divide by zero et cetera, I
guess. Now I could finally make a sum and calculate the
average film-lenghts through the decades.
Here’s a graph of it:
10s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 79 minutes
20s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 98 minutes
30s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 96 minutes
40s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 109 minutes
50s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 114 minutes
60s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 127 minutes
70s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 125 minutes
80s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 129 minutes
90s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 127 minutes
00s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 129 minutes
CONCLUSION
Yes, this sort of confirms everyone’s hypothesis that movies
have become longer. From an average of 79 minutes to a
whopping 129 minutes. That’s an increase of 63 percent!
We’re now on par with the 80s, but with a little luck there
will be a few more blockbusters this year, making it 130
minutes. However, don’t count on it, because it’s 128,64
(2000s) against 129,4 (1980s) to be precise. Of course, you
could also vote more on looong boring movies.
And of course, it’s possible that movies in general haven’t
become longer. Because I have only picked the top 50 of
every decade, it’s also possible that people like short
movies better when they’re old and long movies better when
they’re new. But I don’t think so, and there is no better
way of measuring this, I think. Picking fifty random movies
returns a lot of junk and taking _all_ movies into account
is unworkable.
Questions or comments? Leave them here on b3ta!
From: My Future Self
Subject: Stop Web 2.0. Stop the feedback. Stop comments.
Date: 1 June 2008 10:23
Message-ID: 54
In his latest frontpage update, Hassan “Acetone” Mikal has
shown me that I am not alone in my quest against Web 2.0,
and the stupidity it unleashes upon the unaware Internet
user.
“Web 2.0
Nooooo! Now that every single article on the Internet has a
feedback page under it where retarded comments that defy all
logic are posted I feel like I’m in some kind of futuristic
wonderland. When Web 3.0 arrives special USB attachments
will be released that shoot fecal matter straight into your
mouth every time you read “beefyweiner’s” thoughts on the
economic stimulus plan.”
Thank you, Acetone. You can’t comment here, by the way. And
you won’t be able to either, any time soon.
From: My Future Self
Subject: b3tag
Date: 26 May 2008 0:38
Message-ID: 46
Don’t forget to tag your favourite b3tans in infinity-point-
oh’s brand new game of b3tag. Rob is a ‘ginger’ and the
‘Führer’, but what about the other ones? Every time two
people tag it, the tag appears. This way the junk (if any)
is filtered out. Want to join in, gaz me your pic on b3ta.
Perhaps I will add an upload script one of these days. The
CMS, however, doesn’t really allow it and another one of my
homebrew scripts would bring more security issues.
From: My Future Self
Subject: Grudgebook is Great Succes
Date: 24 May 2008 5:34
Message-ID: 14
Yes! Grudgebook made it into the latest b3ta newsletter, and
since then has been flooded with people sharing their ever
so interesting grudges. So far, there isn’t really a common
grudge, but I can give you a list of most common words (at
24/05/2008 12:21 GMT).
cock ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 26
mum ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 14
fuck ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 14
shit ■■■■■■■■■■ 10
cunt ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 25
twat ■■■■■■■■■■ 10
If only your mums could read this.
From: My Future Self
Subject: Calimeroll’d
Date: 19 May 2008 10:39
Message-ID: 7
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From: My Future Self
Subject: Grudgebook
Date: 17 May 2008 3:52
Message-ID: 5
b3ta newsletter 328 calls for a Grudgebook, so I have made
one. This groundbreaking app lets you share your grudges.
Since I loathe web 2.0 design, I didn’t go with the gradient
buttons and star badges. I did however give the ascii banner
a bit of web 0.0 gradient.
SHARE ALL THE THINGS YOU DIDN’T DO, WITH PEOPLE YOU’LL NEVER MEET!
From: My Future Self
Subject: Hello world
Date: 16 May 2008 9:41
Message-ID: 3
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