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From: My Future Self
Subject: Kh(aX)n Machine
Date: 31 January 2009 13:02
Message-ID: 117
It’s been a long time since I posted my graphs of
Google results for the word Kha*n. I did this all manually,
of course, because I did not know how to do it otherwise.
b3ta user area (profile)
found a way, using the Google AJAX API. Sounds fancy. Even
better, it works
like a charm! Just type in a word with an asterix after
the vowel you want repeated and it draws a beautiful graph
of the Google results for you.
Some examples:
noooooooooooooooooo (random soap series)
wryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
(M.U.G.E.N)
leroooooooooy
(Leroy Jenkins)
From: My Future Self
Subject: Petite Plugin for Wordwrap
Date: 20 January 2009 9:22
Message-ID: 91
If you have a site that uses <pre> or <xmp>
tags (like this site), or a design without a fixed width
then you know you have to put in every linebreak yourself.
If you don’t, you end up with an endless horizontal
scrollbar. I used to do all those linebreaks myself, but
realized it could be done better with a small Wordpress
plugin. It cuts every line at sixty characters, unless
it’s in a category called ‘nowrap’. You
can download the plugin, if it’s helpful for you,
here: rename
it to wordwrap.php. Here is the entire code:
<?php
add_filter(’the_content’,
‘linebreaks’);
function linebreaks($content) {
if ( ! in_category(’nowrap’) ):
$content = wordwrap($content, 60, “\n”);
endif;
return $content;
}
?>
If you have a regular theme (without <pre> or
<xmp>, you might want to replace \n with <br
/>)
From: My Future Self
Subject: Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
Date: 6 July 2008 12:37
Message-ID: 64
Quite some time ago, a fellow b3tard (possibly The Coast Of
Yemen) suggested to make a graph of Google hits by the
number of vowels in the word ‘khan’, but I don’t think it’s
bindun yet.
The term Khan can refer to a lot of things,
according to Wikipedia.
However, once there are more than three a’s in khan, it will
most likely be a reference to Khan Noonien Singh. Khan is a
villain from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, in which
Captain Kirk (William Shatner) yells his name at some point.
In this example, I’m not including Khan or Khaan, because
they may refer to other thing. After Khan or Khaan, Khaaan
has, of course the largest amount of hits. Once you add an
extra ‘a’, the number dramatically decreases to 42.72
percent. Adding more a’s more or less decreases the number
of hits you’ll receive, with an exception for Khaaaaaaaan (8)
and Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (15). Fifteen vowels almost gives you
four times the number of hits, compared to fourteen!
It basically keeps on decreasing when you stretch the word
further and further, but there are some interesting peaks I
cannot explain. Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (26) has 727
hits,whereas Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (25) has a measly
212 hits. Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (27) is hardly better
with 272. The largest increase in hits, however is
Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (33). The difference
between 32 or 33 vowels is 1152 hits, creating an increase of
approximately 505 percent! Another notable increase is between
39 and 40 a’s (424%) and between. I know that the increase
between 47-48 is 554% and 63-64 is even 620%, but it gets less
accurate as the number of hits drops.
The weighted average of a’s in Khan, measured in Google hits
is 8.53, I think. This graph might prove to be very important
to you Internet Users some day. Just imagine how silly you
would look, using 31 A’s, when 33 is clearly the popular choice.
Anything with over fifty consecutive vowels works contraproductive,
is not funny or cool, and should just be considered as spam.
Except for (64), of course, but I have no idea why.
(more…)
From: My Future Self
Subject: Public Animation Mix
Date: 15 June 2008 11:15
Message-ID: 62
I always liked Cyriak’s animation
mix and Rob’s ‘Video
killed the radio star’ mix (like millions of
others). I wanted to do something similar with my
animations, but unfortunately I don’t produce enough
to fill even a minute. So I decided to make it a public thing. Everyone can
upload his or her animation(s) as an animated GIF and
it’s immediately added.
I borrowed some of the code from the aforementioned mix by
Rob. If the sound doesn’t play in Firefox, you can try
the Flash version. The
Flash version in turn doesn’t work in my IE browser so
that’s why there are two versions. The song is from a
keygen. The credits say: svenzzon of superior art creations,
a quartex 2 remix, original by reflex.
From: My Future Self
Subject: IMDB Film-Length Project
Date: 14 June 2008 12:52
Message-ID: 60
b3ta newsletter 332 calls for an average film-length graph.
This idea sounded exciting to me and because I have nothing
to do anyway in the weekends, I tried to accomplish this
with IMDB, Notepad, Excel, Notepad, Collectorz Movie
Collector and Excel (in that order). Here are the results
and how I did it.
First I went to IMDB to get a list of best voted titles of
every decade from 1910 to 2009. The newsletter says top 100,
but I think the top 50 (500 titles in total) is enough and I
couldn’t find a top 100. Then, I copied the table to
Notepad, imported the txt into Excel and copied the ‘title’
column back to notepad, so I could import it into Collectorz
Movie Collector. Once imported into Movie Collector, it
searches the IMDB info for every movie automatically,
including ‘year’ and ‘film length’. Sometimes it needs a
little push when there are several titles with the same
name, but overall this isn’t nearly as time consuming as
having to do it manually. Once I had done this for every
decade, I had all the data I needed. On to the science
stuff!
I’m not an econometrist, so I hope I’m doing this correctly.
I noticed directly that most old movies are relatively
short. However, there’s also Les Vampires, a French horror
movie from 1915 which is 399 minutes! This is also the
longest film in any of top 50s, followed by Napoleon (1927,
313 mins). Both are French movies.
In Excel, everyone’s favourite spreadsheet, I imported the
numbers again and sorted the ‘Running time’ column to get a
good look. I had to replace all the ‘mins’ with ” because
otherwise Excel doesn’t get it. Divide by zero et cetera, I
guess. Now I could finally make a sum and calculate the
average film-lenghts through the decades.
Here’s a graph of it:
10s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 79 minutes
20s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 98 minutes
30s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 96 minutes
40s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 109 minutes
50s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 114 minutes
60s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 127 minutes
70s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 125 minutes
80s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 129 minutes
90s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 127 minutes
00s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 129 minutes
CONCLUSION
Yes, this sort of confirms everyone’s hypothesis that movies
have become longer. From an average of 79 minutes to a
whopping 129 minutes. That’s an increase of 63 percent!
We’re now on par with the 80s, but with a little luck there
will be a few more blockbusters this year, making it 130
minutes. However, don’t count on it, because it’s 128,64
(2000s) against 129,4 (1980s) to be precise. Of course, you
could also vote more on looong boring movies.
And of course, it’s possible that movies in general haven’t
become longer. Because I have only picked the top 50 of
every decade, it’s also possible that people like short
movies better when they’re old and long movies better when
they’re new. But I don’t think so, and there is no better
way of measuring this, I think. Picking fifty random movies
returns a lot of junk and taking _all_ movies into account
is unworkable.
Questions or comments? Leave them here on b3ta!
From: My Future Self
Subject: Stop Web 2.0. Stop the feedback. Stop comments.
Date: 1 June 2008 10:23
Message-ID: 54
In his latest frontpage update, Hassan “Acetone”
Mikal has shown me that I am not alone in my quest against
Web 2.0, and the stupidity it unleashes upon the unaware
Internet user.
“Web 2.0
Nooooo! Now that every single article on the Internet has a
feedback page under it where retarded comments that defy all
logic are posted I feel like I’m in some kind of
futuristic wonderland. When Web 3.0 arrives special USB
attachments will be released that shoot fecal matter
straight into your mouth every time you read
“beefyweiner’s” thoughts on the economic
stimulus plan.”
Thank you, Acetone. You can’t comment here, by the
way. And you won’t be able to either, any time soon.
From: My Future Self
Subject: b3tag
Date: 26 May 2008 0:38
Message-ID: 46
Don’t forget to tag your favourite b3tans in
infinity-point-oh’s brand new game of b3tag. Rob is a ‘ginger’
and the ‘Führer’, but what about the other
ones? Every time two people tag it, the tag appears. This
way the junk (if any) is filtered out. Want to join in, gaz
me your pic on b3ta. Perhaps I will add an upload script one
of these days. The CMS, however, doesn’t really allow
it and another one of my homebrew scripts would bring more
security issues.
From: My Future Self
Subject: Grudgebook is Great Succes
Date: 24 May 2008 5:34
Message-ID: 14
Yes! Grudgebook made it into
the latest b3ta newsletter, and since then has been
flooded with people sharing their ever so interesting
grudges. So far, there isn’t really a common grudge,
but I can give you a list of most common words (at
24/05/2008 12:21 GMT).
cock ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 26
mum ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 14
fuck ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 14
shit ■■■■■■■■■■ 10
cunt ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 25
twat ■■■■■■■■■■ 10
If only your mums could read this.
From: My Future Self
Subject: Calimeroll’d
Date: 19 May 2008 10:39
Message-ID: 7
+NI ZD
N O
N D
I+ N
N I
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N
D +
+ +N I
D Z N N
+ N IO D
D
O $ D N
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+ D
D D N
ZM D+ N
O MN N???M DN$N O Z
OMN N?+D??????IODNNI???$+ N? N
D MMM$N???????????IMOM$??????I$??I N$ M
I ZNMMO???????MMMN?+MDMI?DDI??????? ON O
I OMMMMMNI????IDDDDDMIMMMNMDDDM???????NMONI
D O+NMMMMMMI????MDDDDND$MMODDDDDDM?????IMMMMM O
+ N ZNMMMMMMMI??INDDDNDMOMMNDDDDDDM?????MMMMMMM M
$MMMMMMMMMI??MNDDDM$MMMMMDDDDDI????NMMMMMMM N M
Z MMMMMMNNMMN$IDMM$MMMMMMMMDDMD???IMMMMMMMMI NM
D MMMMMMMMDMMMMMMNI???????$NIIII$MMMMMMMMMM N
NN DOMMMMMMMMMO$II????????????ZNMMMMM$NMMMMMM I
ONN MDMMMMMMMMMMM$DDDDDDDNZIIIII??$IIMMMMMMMM N
NMZ MMMDMMI MMMMMMMMMMM$DDDDDDDDDDDDD$NMMMMMMMMMMD
OMMMMMMMD MMMMMMMMMMMIDMMNDDDDDDD$MMMMMMMMMMM + NM+
MMMMNMMM MMMMMMMMMMM$IIIIIIIDNOMMMMMMMMMMM MM ZMD
ZMMMMMMNMMMZ MMMMMMMMMMMDIII+II$MMMMMMMMMMMM OMMMMM NM
ONMMMMMMMM +MMMMMMMMMMMMNNMMNMMMMMMMMMMN MMMMMMMMO
MMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN MMMMMMMM
NMMMMMMMMM+MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM NMMMMMMMMMMMMMN
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMZMMMMMMMMMMMNM
ZMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNN
NN O+ OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMD
MN MD MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN
NM ZN MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM NN NN
DM NM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM N+ MM
IM MO MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM N NN
NMM NMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ZM MM
MMMMMD INMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN NMMMN
NMN DMDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN NMMMMN
IMO OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDMO MMM
M MMMMMMMMMM+ MM
$++ IN
From: My Future Self
Subject: Grudgebook
Date: 17 May 2008 3:52
Message-ID: 5
b3ta newsletter
328 calls for a Grudgebook, so I have made
one. This groundbreaking app lets you share your
grudges. Since I loathe web 2.0 design, I didn’t go
with the gradient buttons and star badges. I did however
give the ascii banner a bit of web 0.0 gradient.
SHARE
ALL THE THINGS YOU DIDN’T DO, WITH PEOPLE YOU’LL
NEVER MEET!
_____________________________
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